I once wrote a blog post for my other page talking about one of my favorite heroes, Groot. There is so much that I can relate to about him. While he may only have 3 words he is able to say, “I am Groot,” is very much how I am able to say “I am fine.”

Groot is this large tree-hybrid who has all of these amazing qualities that no one seems to realize how deep they really are until they are forced to really look at him and hear him when he says “I am Groot.”

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While I’m not some tree-like hybrid with all of these amazing hidden qualities. I’m not a hero. Hell, some times I have to fake being brave. But like him, I do have a sense of peace within me. Regardless of what I am facing.

I know I’m quirky and can be a little goofy and crazy, but also like him I am protective of those I love.

Groot’s three words, “I am Groot!” can mean so much when you actually listen. Some times he is asking permission (“I can touch this button?”). Some times he is being quirky while drinking from a fountain (“Hey! I’m a tree and I’m thirsty. Where would you prefer I drink?). Some times he’s angry and striking out (“You messed with the wrong family!”). And some times he’s just plain goofy as he dances along to the music.

 

Today, I feel most like Groot. While all of my tests and scans have come back good, showing no spreading of cancer; I specifically asked my doctor if after surgery there would be radiation. He was honest in saying that there is a good chance there will be more chemotherapy before radiation. But in the end, it will all come down to what they find in surgery.

While I have continued to have my own sense of peace about my diagnosis; going through another round or rounds of chemotherapy is not something I look forward to. I remember the pain, the nausea, the weakness, and the exhaustion, most of which I still struggle with. If it is something I must endure again, so be it…like Groot, I’m a fighter and I refuse to quit. But it still scares me.

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***Attention spoilers for Guardians of the Galaxy 1***

Groot is amazing in so many ways. He has such an innocence about him (even as a Baby Groot). He is fiercely loyal to those he loves. And yet, in the middle of the chaos around him, he still finds a way to see the simple beauty around him, whether it’s drinking from a water fountain on a sunny day or giving a young girl a flower.

He once thought his only friend was Rocket. His only friend who could understand what he meant when he would say “I am Groot.” But he found others who soon began to understand him.

When his friends needed light, he gave them this most beautiful light to help guide them. When they needed protection, he would surround them to keep them safe; even sacrificing himself so they survived.

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One day at a time…one step at a time…that is what I have to hang on to. I am not alone in this fight. I know that my fears and tears can be overwhelming, but I also know that like Groot, I am stronger than I could ever have thought. Like Groot, I am able to better adapt to what comes next because of where I have been. And because of where I have been and what I have been through, I remember to find the beauty around me, even amidst the chaos. I find reasons to smile even though my tears are falling. Where I used to find comfort in the dark, I now long for the warmth of the sun and the breeze on my hair (scalp really).

I have discovered inside myself the characteristics I most admire in heroes like Groot. Like him, I would light the way for those lost in the dark to help them find their way back to their path in any way I could. I am loyal to all I love, and I rarely meet a stranger who doesn’t touch my soul. Like Groot, I am surrounded by those I love, those who continually share their strength, faith, and shoulders.

I may have more than 3 words in my vocabulary, but like him, my heart is usually found open and inside my actions. I have decided that we are all heroes in our own way. Whether we fight for those who cannot, protect those we love, stand strong in amidst the chaos and destruction, or make others smile on their dark days; we each have an ability to make a difference, an impact on someone or several people. But regardless, I know I have my guardians along side of me as I continue to face this battle. With them beside me I know that each day is a win for us, each moment is one to cherish and hold in our hearts. Together we will ultimately win this war against my own body. All because together, “We are Groot.”

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