This is My Journey

The Tale of Starwhale

For thousands of years, Starwhales have roamed the known universe in a quiet peace.  They are a peaceful and gentle race that has all but recently become extinct.  We, as humans, have never been able to capture an image of one because of their preference and love of deep outer space.  From what we have gathered, their appearance is like that of a humpback or sperm whale, only they are slightly more pinkish-gray in nature.  They are also much larger than our largest living whale here on Earth.

Because of their rarity we are unable to know how they reproduce, their average lifespan, and how they have survived in the vast depths of the universe.

One day, I was sitting with my husband, Paco, trying to explain the beauty of these creatures and how it is a shame that none are found around our solar system, let alone our galaxy; as I was trying to explain, an episode of Doctor Who came on entitled “The Beast Below.”  Once I realized what episode it was, I stopped trying to explain it to Paco, and told him to watch the episode, that all would be made clear in the end.


In the episode, The Doctor and his companion, Amy, find themselves in a futuristic Starship UK.  While the ship is orbiting and moving throughout space, it is not moving through traditional methods.  When faced with the truth behind the mechanics of the spaceship; The Doctor is forced to make a drastic decision.  But it is actually Amy who comes to the rescue as she realizes that whatever was being use to propel the ship was a gentle spirit and had actually volunteered to bring the Starship UK to safety.

*****end spoilers*****

After the episode had finished and the credits were rolling, I turned and looked at Paco and quietly said, “I want to ride a Starwhale.”

Paco could only just stare at me oddly as he  tried to figure out what next to say.

At the time, we were without a vehicle as my previous car had been badly damaged in an accident earlier that year. Somehow I knew that our next vehicle would have to be named StarWhale.

As time went on, as it usually does, we fell upon some bad times and found ourselves without a home and living in a motel room. Both of us struggled to make ends meet, with him working part-time and I actively seeking employment.  But we still found ourselves celebrating Christmas in our little room and it appeared we would be celebrating New Year’s there as well.

While we were actively attending church thankfully due to the kindness of a friend who would drive us to and from; Paco stumbled upon a “Room for Rent” on Craigslist. We were blessed to be able to move into the room on New Year’s Eve.

Still without a vehicle, our friend continued to drive us back and forth to church. One day after the new year, I received a call from my previous employer. He explained that from the moment he met me, he had always intended on gifting me his van once he purchased a new one. That Sunday he surprised us by driving us to my previous place of employment and signed the title over of his 2003 Maroon Chrysler Town & Country. It had just recently been serviced and had all of the fluids changed or filled. While it had over 200,000 miles on it, I knew from experience that most of those were interstate miles from him doing trade shows across the country. God had answered our prayers for a vehicle.

That night, the “polar freeze” hit the Metro Detroit Area, causing the battery in our new van to die. Once again, we found ourselves without a vehicle. Once the weather warmed up, we were blessed again by my grandmother and uncle who decided to purchase a new battery for us.

Thus, the Starwhale was born. Paco said that since I wouldn’t be able to ride an actual one, the van’s namesake would be that which I have always want to ride…a Starwhale.

She has been with us through many moves to different motel rooms and in with Paco’s parents for a short time. She has gotten me back and forth to my job as a cab driver for the Metro Detroit area. All the times we were able to spend with Paco’s daughter, she was there. And when we decided to make the 2500 drive from Michigan to Oregon, many people said she wouldn’t make it out of Michigan.

She proved them wrong. And she continued to prove them wrong with each mile and mountain pass.

She was our home for several months while we tried to find employment and an actual apartment or house to rent. When we were blessed by our friend taking us in after I found employment, she continued to be our transportation to and from work, doctor appointments, shopping, and just driving outings.

In November when I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Triple Negative Breast Cancer, she was there when I needed space to cry. She was our main source of transportation because I was able to drive and ride in her comfortably.

StarWhale has been a rock throughout this journey and to see her sitting there, knowing she needs to be fixed, and being unable to do so breaks my heart. I miss our times together and the freedom of being able to comfortably sit behind the driver’s wheel and drive. She started this journey with me…my only wish is for her to be able to finish it with me.

I’ve had some amazingly generous people make donations already, but there is still so much more needed. I have already completed two art pieces, one sketch and one acrylic. I am currently working on my third. For each donation, I am gifting in return a piece of art done by me personally.

Sketch of an owl done with pencil, charcoal, and colored pencil.
8″ x 10″ acrylic painting of a snow covered tree at night




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